Why ‘whisper’ about it? The not-so mystical art of Dog Maintenance

I have a dream program I would like to hear people raving about. It is called the ‘Car Whisperer’ (subtitled ‘Superwrench’).

Set the scene – we view musically-sharpened highlights of ruined shopping trips, disastrous holiday journeys. We see much rolling of eyes and self-conscious grinning from drivers as they attempt to explain why it is that their car plays up so much. In the intro sequence, they lovingly polish the car hood and offer ‘We just can not take this car anywhere. It’s become the bane of our lives – but - it’s a big part of our family’. They complain that their car ‘just passes without warning’. In one memorable sequence, a car simply sits at a red light and refuses to budge, indicators flashing akimbo. In another, the car jolts forward into the path of an oncoming car whilst both cars honk uncontrollably at one another.

In today’s episode, Superwrench travels to visit a malfunctioning jalopy in his customised Ford Pinto. He immediately takes charge of the ‘confused’ car, seizing its steering wheel with aplomb. Yanking off the parking brake, ‘This car needs to know that you are in charge’ comments Superwrench, whilst placing his shoulder to the rear of the car and shoving it downhill. ‘You need to control your car’s energy’ Superwrench adds as he takes the car to the speedway and returns with it limping and sputtering in his wake. Groundbreaking scenes ensue as Superwrench rolls a steam-hissing car onto its roof as punishment for being in what Superwrench calls the ‘No Parking Zone’.

Forgive me a little. I am perhaps taking this imperfect analogy further than necessary. I started off by writing about how it is so important to keep your dog’s health under regular monitoring. How a behavioural ‘safety check’ has to be a common event in your home. Why you should feed high grade fuel – er, I mean, top quality food. Why, when your dog is ill, you take it straight to a Veterinary professional. Why, when your dog has a behaviour problem, you should take it straight to a skilled and qualified trainer or behaviour consultant.

Just like you would look after your car. A little oil now and again, keep the brake fluid topped up, take it to a garage once a year to have someone qualified check it over. You take a test to prove you are an adequate operator of said car. You do research before you buy the car to make sure it will fit your lifestyle…

I know that cars are not dogs. Dogs do act, react and interact independently. Even so, let’s communicate to all that, like our cars, it is fairly simple to maintain our dogs in tip-top physical and behavioural health. With regular attention, maintenance, investment of time and yes, money, our beloved pets will repay that one hundredfold.

We need to teach ourselves how to handle them, too. Reliable, dependable dogs. Reliable, dependable owners.

Imagine the difference in our attitudes if our dogs had to be assessed independently, once a year, for ‘safety’? What would happen if we all had to undergo a 'handling test' before being allowed to own a dog?

Can we spread the word that a little training and socialisation work, each day, or even each week, is a better inoculation against problems than trying to fix something once it has become an entrenched and potentially disastrous habit.

Why do we even label some dogs as ‘problems’? Are all cars dangerous? Well, it very much depends who is driving. Indeed, attempting to control ‘problem dogs’ with licenses and breed-specific legislation is rather like having a speed limit for silver cars only. Are you a car driver? Are you a dog owner? Similar responsibilities apply to both.

If only someone could call ‘Superwrench’ to save the day…

Copyright: Karen Wild Photo: cflorinc