Sometimes I Feel Like Dr. Laura....
Many people think that Dr. Laura Schlesinger gets a little insensitive and irritable with her callers. I’ve thought it myself at times when listening to her, but then I remember what it must be like from her point of view to speak with one person after another, to give them a thoughtful reply and then to have them disregard what she has said and move on to another topic.
One of the things that come along with being a dog trainer is the responsibility of answering inquiring telephone calls from prospective clients. Many trainers put a time limit on how long they will talk, “Never stay on the phone for more than two minutes”. Many will not answer behavioral questions, “Never give away free advice”. And many, like myself, prefer to discuss the issues so that we can understand how we may help and also perhaps give some immediate help to the unseen dog who lives on the other end of the telephone.
It is interesting, frustrating and remarkable to me how many people do not really listen when you are trying to answer their questions. Actually, it is also interesting how difficult it is for many people to even format exactly what their problems are, in order to ask a logical question. But once you have ferreted out the issue – and given a thoughtful reply, trying to be clear and simple and to the point – many, if not most, immediately ask a new, unrelated question, or begin to tell you another anecdote without responding at all to the information you have just given them.
Why is this? Is it me? Is it them?
I have formulated some strategies for getting to the crux of the problem, without being rude or disrespectful and hopefully imparting good information along the way:
a) Using your knowledge of dog behavior, ask questions designed to clarify exactly *what* the dog is doing, i.e., client says, “My dog has separation anxiety”. You ask, “Exactly what does your dog do that makes you feel that he/she has separation anxiety? How old is your dog and what breed? How long have you had her, and when did this problem start?” – Or – Client says, “My dog hates other dogs, she tries to attack them when we go on walks!” You say, “Did you keep her in vigilantly until her vaccinations were complete? Did she meet lots of other dogs when she was younger? Can you tell me what her tail is doing at this time, is her hair standing up on her back, what position are her ears in? And what happens if she ever gets all the way up to the other dog?”
b) As soon as you finish an explanation, ask, “Does that make sense to you? How do you feel about what I just said?” – thereby keeping the conversation on track. If the client brings up something completely unrelated, stay calm and essentially be non-responsive, simply bringing the conversation back to the original topic.
c) Stay sympathetic to the caller, remember that they have actually called you for help, and that this may be the last chance their dog will have for intervention. Try to really “hear” what they are saying and give credence to the fact that they may be overwhelmed and frustrated. Try to give quick and simple immediate ideas. This proves both that you are a *good* dog trainer and counselor and that there are easy methods that will help them live with their dog
d) Stay in control of the conversation and do try to keep it to the point and as short as possible while still being meaningful.
I know that I got into working with dogs because I do care about them and want them to stay in their homes, and because it is so rewarding to see an owner succeed and learn to become a “trainer” in their own right. So, even at those times when I feel like saying, “What on earth does that have to do with what we are talking about?” or like slamming my hand as hard as I can on the nearest surface in frustration, it doesn’t take much to remember *why* I am talking to them, and what I need to do to live up to my own standards and expectations.
