I know how much people like to sleep with their dogs. The cuddling and the closeness of your canine companions can be especially comforting while you sleep. Many years ago, I enjoyed my dog Elvis sleeping at the bottom of my bed, until my husband moved into my life.
Over 10 years ago, he imposed a "no dogs in the bedroom" rule at the very beginning of our relationship. I hammered and hawed, but figured if he could live with me and my dog, I could live without Elvis in the bedroom. As time has gone by and more dogs have come into our lives, I've not only become OK with this rule, but I truly believe this is one of my husband's better ideas.
First of all, I will say that many dogs can sleep in the bedroom with no issues whatsoever. From my standpoint as a dog trainer, I do see quite a few interesting behavioral issues going on with some dogs in the bedroom. Here are a few of the things my husband and I have avoided in our 10 years of the "no dogs in the bedroom" rule:
THE 5AM WAKE-UP CALL
A cold nose on your face at 5am is not always a welcome gesture. I will often hear clients lament, “my dog gets me up at all hours and want to go outside, play, or chews my pillow.” Elvis would sniff my face at all hours and stare at me until I got up. When we relegated him to a very comfortable bed of his own in the living room, the wake-up calls ended. I’ve enjoyed these years of uninterrupted sleep and choosing for myself when to get out of bed.
DOGGIE NAPOLEON COMPLEX
As a dog trainer, I often see a correlation between dogs that think they rule the house and dogs that also sleep with their person in the bed. The bed is the most coveted location in the home, and anyone in the bed is pretty important, right? Some dogs can take this privilege to a new level and begin competing with their humans for head of household status. I definitely see this bedroom "Napolean" complex most often with toys dogs.
BED RESOURCE GUARDING
Doggie Napoleons can also become possessive about their sleeping areas. Time and time again, I will hear about dog owners being growled at or chased out of their own beds by their dogs if they are disturbed while sleeping. Not surprisingly, I also see the problems disappear and roles change when the dog is no longer permitted in the bed.
PILLOW FIGHTS (NOT!)
Multiple dogs can sometimes become competitive over privileged sleeping areas, particularly in the bedroom. I’ve had several clients reporting dog fights in the bedroom when one dog attempts to displace another on the coveted bed. This can become dangerous, as trying to manage a dog fight while you are half asleep can most times lead to being bitten yourself.
FLEAS AND TICKS
In North Carolina, where fleas and ticks rule most of the year, dogs in your bedroom can quickly lead to many unwelcome guests in the bedroom too. My friend Jesse learned this the hard way, finding hundreds of tiny ticks in her bed after her dog took a nap in the covers. During our first bad flea infestation last year, our bedroom was the one area of the house that was safe from the flea d'etat.
These are just a few of the issues that we’ve not had to deal with. Although I love my dogs, I do believe that our bedroom rule has helped create more harmony in our house.
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Egytptian Cotton Only Please
I don't sleep with my 3 boys in the bed most of the time because they are large and true bed hogs - no room for me! However they are allowed to sleep on my bed on the "dog cover" during the day, it's durable and washable and I take it off at night so I don't have to sleep in tons of prickly bulldog hair. The room gets lots of sun and fresh air in the daytime and they love it.
Recently Dune has developed a fondness for lying directly on our sheets. He'll carefully peel back the dog cover and duvet with his mouth and lie directly on our luxurious and comfy sheets and pillows. I've seen him take painstaking care to get it right.
I find this behavior both hilarious and very annoying. It's amusing that prefers the sheets, he's obviously got good taste or has the tactile sensitivity of the Princess and the Pea. (Hard to believe with the way he slams around like a bull the rest of the day!) But it is also frustrating to constantly come upon a disheveled bed full of grit and dog hair. Kind of defeats the purpose of the "dog cover", eh?
Kelly Gorman Dunbar
Editor, Dog Star Daily
Sleeping with dogs
I sleep with my dogs and as much as I love cuddling with them at night, I wish I hadn't started this! One dog, who is deaf and blind, sleeps BETWEEN my husband and me. The other sleeps on the other side of me. There are dog fights in the middle of the night. They do not have fleas (thank goodness) and they do not presume to be the bosses of the house. We humans are the leaders. They are very small dogs (3 and 5 lb Yorkies). Sleeping with them prevents any night time bathroom "mistakes". I would miss sleeping with them, but since habit is started, we are stuck with it. I don’t think I will allow it with our next dog.
My dogs come up in the morning, with permission
I think it's important that dogs learn frustration tolerance, so people should have some set of things the dogs have to be polite to get. In my house, if there's a human on furniture (bed, couch, etc.), they can come up only with permission. Besides, sometimes I'm eating, sleeping, or doing something else on the bed that doesn't require a dog!
Sleeping with the dogs is way too painful, but they come up every morning for snuggles. If it didn't hurt my back, they'd be up there all night, but they'd still have to ask to come up.
Only good things,
Grisha
________________________
Ahimsa Dog Training
Seattle, Washington
Voted Best of Western Washington
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Hot Water Bottle
I always put off having dogs in the bedroom because I tried it once with a previous dog and he made me sneeze all night. Following an injury I needed to keep my Greyhound under close supervision and couldn't sleep downstairs, so after a few nights gave in and brought the dogs upstairs. I've never chucked them out again - in fact following another injury my Greyhound now cannot climb stairs until she's healed and I really miss her!
My terrier had some behaviour problems, and I was told that sleeping on the bed wasn't the issue, although things would clear up quicker if I made him sleep in a crate or downstairs. He is now much better; although I never turfed him out of the bedroom I sometimes banished him to a crate. He moves when he's told - he always wants to sleep near my feet but gets crotchety when I fidget so he's made to move. Now I use it as a guide to how badly his hips are hurting (he has Hip Dysplasia) by how quick he is to tell me off when I fidget. If he growls, he's not too bad. If he snaps at me, I've overdone his exercise. Possible everyone will be horrified that I let him do this, but I need to know how much he can do, and more importantly how much he can't do so that he can have a good life without me pushing him so hard he's in awful pain. And apart from anything else, he loves to sleep under the covers when it's cool, so he keeps me warm!
My Greyhound taught me how dogs can learn new cues for the same behaviour without us intending them to, as she gets off the bed and goes in her crate. It used to be when I got into bed - we've now moved through 'coming in the room', 'toilet flushing' and now she's onto 'toilet roll holder rattling'. I don't like to think what will be her next sound effect to respond to!
The only thing I don't like is that when they bark because cats are fighting outside at night they are right next to my ear! But they'd be barking anyway, and this way I can settle them back down without getting out of bed.
Drool!
I've never really been a fan of waking up to drool on my pillow, so the bed is for humans only at night! I have no problem with letting them jump up in the morning for snuggles, and they can curl up together during the day after throwing over a cover.
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Part of the bargain
My husband never had dogs growing up. His family only had cats, and since cats are usually allowed everywhere, beds, counters (yuck), tables (double yuck), he never knew that dogs weren't naturally afforded those same privileges. So, he knew dogs in our bed was part of the bargain ...... if he wanted me in that bed. Has never been an issue. Oh, we'll celebrate our 26th anniversary next month. Granted, not all 7 of our dogs are allowed in bed with us at the same time, but at least one of them usually is present.
That said 1. they don't get on the bed until invited up, 2. they get off immediately when told to do so, with absolutely no protest or resistance, and 3. they know the bed is for sleeping and not playing (well not for them to play in anyway - sorry couldn't resist);-)
I don't believe any of the issues you list are necessarily caused by dogs sleeping in the bed with humans, but if those issues already exist, then definitely one needs to take stock of the situation and make adjustments as necessary.
Structure
On cold nights in an old farmhouse, a dog or three can really help keep the heating bills down. I wouldn't trade it. I use and always recommend Grisha's rule of having to be invited up on the bed in combination with both a well trained "off" and a zero tolerance rule for misbehavior. Any fussin' or fightin' results in the immediate revocation of bed privileges. Doing the training not only helps avoid bad habits from the beginning, but also tends to expose resource guarding before the dog gets a chance to really take possession of the bed.
Bed-share convert
When pup #1 first arrived, I was anti dogz-in-bedz for a good 8 months for all the routine and behavior reasons mentioned by others. My Simmons Beauty-rest was NOT to become a dog bed. In a moment of weakness one cold February night, I broke the rules (shame on me) and invited the little guy in. I'm thankful that behavior has not regressed and forced me to change the practice, because I do think we both mutually benefit from the snuggles.
I will say that on one occasion, a marrow bone made its way into bed with said dog... and that got an instant veto followed by a trip to the kitchen.
In advising others about bringing a dog in home, I stick to the "avoid it for now" or at least "wait and see" approach.
Laurie Williams has the key point
The bed is a premier spot - my dog is allowed there, BUT - only with me. Only when he sits nicely and is invited off. And one "off" and he's down. I remind him of this regularly, and so coming up on the bed with me stays a privilege that I control. It helps that despite being 65 pounds he has good bed manners - he prefers to be curled up at the foot of the bed. And he never wakes me up unless he has a bathroom emergency (rare), in which case we go straight to the door and out, or if something really alarms him (this has happened with a knock on the door during a nap from time to time, and once during a hurricane).
If he misbehaves, he goes to his bed (the crate) where he can see and hear me (it's outside the bedroom door) but this almost never happens.
But I understand why some people prefer not to have a dog in bed with them - I happen to like it.
Also, he was never allowed there until he was fully crate trained and was regularly spending nights calmly asleep in his crate. And, during the day, the bedroom door stays closed; bedtime is fun because the door opens and it's time to go in there.
Sleeping Aid
I have several medical conditions that make sleeping a difficult thing for me. Hence, I am prescribed medications to sleep given that without sleep, I am unable to function and can die. When I got my dog and allowed him to sleep with me, the amount of medications that I take to sleep was reduced. It was a miracle. Now, my dog is trained to know exactly where to lie down when I sleep to give me the most benefit. The next time I meet my specialist, I am going to ask her for a letter that indicates that I use a service dog so that I can bring him when I travel - into hotels and public transportation.
In the past, I had problems. My dog would sleep when I am at work and be awake at night. He would do all kinds of things to try to wake me up. If I close the bedroom, he would whine like crazy outside the bedroom. But now I realized that if I take more time to spend with him during the day, he will sleep at night with me. Or maybe I am wrong. Perhaps he sleeps with me under the covers because of the A/C that is cold! And I just have an illusory correlation between spending time with him and him sleeping with me.
I have to tell you this story. My dog loves octopuses made by Plush Puppies. They make noise if you shake them or squeeze them. My dog is just crazy about them and we call them "Beauty". They are used as rewards in training. I usually hide Beauty(s) at night because my dog might make noise with them. One night, he woke me up about 3 times with the Beauty because he found her. My bedroom was in a mess because of his search for Beauty. In the morning when I was getting ready for work, he was on the bed sitting on Beauty. I took a picture, it was so cute. I think that the picture is on a cellphone that is damaged. So, I can't show it to you. Sorry.
Thanks John!
I think dogs on beds and furniture has gotten a bad rap somewhere along the way. This is apparent when I ask my clients and students if their dogs are allowed on the furniture. Most are afraid or reluctant to admit that they do. I quickly tell them, no worries, mine are! and then they relax a bit. But I do tell them that it's a privilege that carries the specific criteria and rules I mentioned above. The minute, no second, any of those rules are broken, the dog loses bed/furniture privileges.
It would be a great loss for me not to be able to have a dog in my bed. It brings me comfort, a sense of peace and definitely fulfills some key emotional needs, which are the reasons I have dogs to begin with. ____________________________________________________________________
Director of Training and Behavior Counseling Pup 'N Iron
Host of Dog Sports and Performance Network on Pet Life Radio
It's a weekend treat for my
It's a weekend treat for my girls (two springers) to come and join us on the bed. They have their own bed in the kitchen and sleep there every night except for the odd occasion when I would accidently on purpose forget to close the kitchen door and they would creep up after me and go and sleep in the spare room. Saturday and Sunday mornings are the treat days for them. Like so many others of you they are super respective of my bed. They can only jump up when they have asked politely..ie. rest chin on bed in standing position, drop ears, slow wag of the tail, pleading eyes and then it's an O.K. from me, a little hop and they are up. Again I only have to ask them once to get down when I want them to. They are not allowed to bring any toys or food onto the bed, they simply drop anything they have and pick it up on the return journey. The girls (again my two springers... I have to point this out as some people have gotten the wrong end of the stick before) think that this is a really great treat but I'm the one that gets the most fulfillment. The odd nudge with the nose (me and them), their breath on my face, usually a paw dangling over me, a big yawn right in my face, sniffing my ear, a slow lick that starts on the nose and usually ends up in my eyeball, snuffles etc'....starts my weekend off with a smile. You simply cannot beat a resting dog snuggled up to you in bed.
sleeping rewards
I, like many of you, don't allow the dogs on the bed at home. Frankly, I need room to turn over without a few ridgeback-sized obstructions (aka: anvils) and some air flow is nice, too, especially in warm summer months. However, I have found that when we travel to dog shows or some performance activity where an overnight hotel stay is necessary, it is a great treat for the dogs to be able to sleep on the bed with me. I've found that allowing the dogs on the bed in hotels (I bring a clean sheet with me to cover up the bedspread and keep dog hair to a minimum) keeps them calmer and less likely to spend their time next to the door, begging me to go exploring. As long as the sheet is on the bed, they are happy campers and love to curl up around me, or on me if possible at night. Of course, this stress-reducer for them makes it less likely that I will get a good night's sleep, but I'd rather have them happy for whatever event we're going to compete in, and I want them to think of travel as a good thing. And it makes for a nice cuddle-fest, too.
Cindy McFadden
Sleeping cosy with Fig
It's interesting how many different points of view there are and I don't think that any of them are right or wrong. It all comes down to personal choice.
Luckily Fig is a small dog and I've always had spaniels before him and none of them were very big so space on the bed has never been an issue. I like my dog on the bed for comfort, bonding and so that I can hear when he jumps off so that I can go and let him out.
It has not impacted on his training, he is very well behaved (other than issues with small furry creatures), I think I probably would change the habit if I thought it impacted on his behavior though.
Kittie
I Heart Fig
Yes!
Your post has eased my conscience. My two dogs are very well behaved. Sleeping on the bed hasn't hurt or helped that. Our daily training has. In fact, sleeping on the bed is a reward for them. We decide when they get on the bed -- we decide everything. They know that and that keeps them focused on us.
My two prefer their own beds
When my husband was away for a couple of weeks recently, I warned him that I was going to leave the bedroom door open while he was gone. I figured our 2 dogs and 2 cats were adaptable enough to accept it when he came back and we resumed shutting the door.
I imagined that our Rottweiler and medium-sized mixed breed would sleep on the carpeted bedroom floor, as they sometimes do if I nap, or that they might even try to join me in bed, even though that has never been permitted.
Nope, they much prefer their comfy beds in the nearby living room! The cats were another story, they cuddled right up.
Rosana Hart www.training-dogs.com