One of the catch-up projects I’ve been working on this month is downloading footage from my video camera to my computer so it can be edited and preserved on DVD. This isn’t just any footage; it features my dogs, wolves, and wolfdogs who are no longer with us. As some of you know, I lost Mojo (my soul dog), Phantom (my soul wolf) and Heyoka (beloved high content wolfdog) all in the past year. So the video project has been a heartwarming yet difficult one.
Strangely, not all of the heartstring-tugging is due to seeing my fur-kids romping, playing, and being their wonderful selves. Some of it comes from watching sequences where I was training Mojo, and Soko, my German Shepherd (who passed over three years ago) was standing there watching, waiting, and wanting to be involved. Soko was always a brilliant dog. She knew sit, stay, down, and come by the age of seven weeks. She was a star training pupil, so long as she wasn’t frightened by anything in the environment. Soko had lifelong fear and anxiety issues, whereas Mojo was mellow and charismatic—a rock star of dogdom. Guess which one my husband and I favored. And there it is, the evidence caught in frame after frame—me showing off Mojo’s tricks, clicker training him, praising and treating him, and all the while Soko looking left out. In one scene I even ordered her out of the room. Okay, I’m making it sound worse than it was. It’s not like she didn’t get time with mom, and believe me, that dog had a great life filled with lots of affection and attention. Still, I feel badly that I so obviously favored Mojo over her.
We all play favorites. Dog trainers sometimes have to remind ourselves to use each dog in the class for demos rather than just the few we like best. Owners sometimes tend to give one dog a lot more attention than another, especially when bringing a new dog home. I don’t know to what extent dogs feel sad or stressed about being left out or shunned, but of course they do, just like kids who know deep down that their sibling is the real favorite. So love your fur-kids and make them feel special—all of them—while they’re here to appreciate it.
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I do the same thing
I do the same thing. I didn't realize till after Oreo was gone that I probably spent more time training him than the others but he had more problems than the others. He even had a special cheer in the morning and would come out and wait for it before proceeding to the backyard. He was my soul dog also and it's always great to see a video or pic of him now. It's like revisiting old times for a split second.
Lydia McCarthy Playful Pooches and Parents Dog Training 513-939-dogs
Somthing to be mindful of for sure.
Thanks for bringing this up Nicole. I do love all my dogs deeply, and they all bring something special to the mix, but I have found myself favoring one or another here and there. I try to catch it and correct it by focusing on the unique traits of the one in the shadows- this usually works for me- it's a good exercise.
Kelly Gorman Dunbar Editor, Dog Star Daily
Sage Advice
Sue Pearson, Training Director SPOT & CO. Dog Training Iowa City, IA
Although I was sorry to hear that you had such a signficant loss this year, I loved this post, particularly the part about choosing demo dogs in classes. MANY years ago while I was student teaching, I had a very wise supervising teacher. One day, while I was having a tough time with one of the students in my pre-school class, he suggested that when that child caused trouble in the classroom, my very next job would be to look for an opportunity to praise him for a behavior that I liked (sounds familiar, doesn't it??). That advice has served me well over the years as a classroom teacher and as a trainer. And, wouldn't you know -- some of those "problem" children and dogs have become my "favorites."
Sue...
I once had a training client who had a toy fox terrier. Very friendly, super animated (the dog--well, the client too, now that I think about it). She told me she'd quit 3 different group classes because none of the instructors ever choose her dog as a demo dog, although they used all other dogs in the class. Got her in my class and the dog did great, of course I made sure to demo with her. I think as instructors we sometimes don't realize it can make students feel something is wrong with their dogs if we don't include them. It can be hard to work against our natural love of certain breeds, types, etc. but it's certainly worth the effort.