I Don’t Foresee a Problem
This is something my husband says to me all the time about our daughters and our dogs. I come up with many things to worry about, many possible outcomes that we should concern ourselves with and all he says is, “I don’t foresee a problem.”
Well, I suppose he doesn’t. He’s not a psychic, after all. Heck, he’s not even a professional dog trainer. He’s an optimistic step-father and an average pet dog owner. He believes the best of his daughters and his dogs, expecting that everything will work out fine because these are the beings he loves.
Does this mean that my concern, my constant watching for signs of trouble represent a lack of love and positive thinking on my part? I don’t think so. Instead, it is part of what I’ve had to train myself to do in order to serve my clients well. I have learned to detach from my emotions about dogs (and children) in order to look at the behavior in an objective way. Some dog owners, including my husband, find this somewhat disconcerting and perhaps too analytical.
By detaching, I don’t mean that I have gone cold when it comes to dogs. In fact, I love them very much. I care for 15 – 20 dogs every day at my daycare. I know each of their personalities, their various barks, what their poop looks and smells like when they’re feeling fine, when they need a nap, when they’re hungry and when they just need a little extra attention. I love them. I look forward to seeing them. I am thrilled to watch them play, learn and grow.
The trick for me is to step out of that intimate place sometimes and look at what the dog is doing without my pre-conceived ideas about who the dog is. I can’t afford to dismiss a growl and a snap over the water bowl just because I know the dog is “a good dog”.
EVERY dog has the potential for behavioral problems, and my goal is prevention. Regardless of how much I love a dog, I cannot prevent such issues as separation anxiety or aggression through positive thoughts and warm feelings alone.
I think we have some confusion about behavioral issues and associate them with words like “bad”, “defect” or “abnormal”. Good people suffer from depression, mental illness and social phobias. These things are not representative of character. It is the same with dogs. Very good dogs, sweet dogs, wonderful, playful dogs can become resource guarders or develop such agonizing separation anxiety that they destroy thousands of dollars worth of property. Lovely, lovable dogs can and do bite.
When I tell a client that their adolescent dog needs some extra socialization to people in order to prevent future problems, I am often met with a comment such as, “Oh she’s not aggressive. She loves people and would never hurt anyone. She’s a sweetheart! She just barks at first and gets a little shy…but then she warms up.”
I agree that the dog is not acting aggressively. Not right now. She is nervous and needs more socialization. I agree that she is a sweetheart, and I love her. She may never develop any aggressive tendencies. I just want to make sure that, because we love her so much, we do everything we can to prevent any potential behavioral problems.
The practice of denying potential problems, holding our breath and hoping for the best just isn’t very effective. At the same time, positive thinking and emotional attachment are necessary to the process of raising a well-adjusted, happy, healthy dog or child.
Maybe this is why my marriage works so well. We have a balance of blind faith and objective concern.
The last time I mentioned that one of our dogs seemed to be shying away from visitors more than she used to, my husband told me that he didn’t foresee a problem. In order to prove to me that she was fine, he took her with him nearly the entire week to Home Depot, the garden store and other places. He made sure she met lots of people and they gave her treats. He said, “She met a lot of people and did great. I told you she’s fine.”
Perfect, now we can both rest easy.
