That Extra-Special Holiday Guest
Most of the people reading this are avid dog lovers. So, let me ask you, as a dog lover, how would you feel if this happened? Let’s say you and your dog came to my home for Thanksgiving. Let’s also say that your dog was afraid of…hmmm…afraid of the centerpiece on the table.
How would you feel if I told you that your dog was being silly because the centerpiece is not dangerous? What if I forced your dog to spend time with the centerpiece and laughed at him when he got anxious? I’m guessing you wouldn’t be hanging around for dinner.
Sadly, this is exactly what some people go through who are afraid of dogs. In fact, there are hosts who will be joking about the dog-anxious guest before she even arrives. When she does arrive, already amped up because she knows there will be dogs at your house and that she will be chided about her fears, she is repeatedly informed that her fears are irrational and encouraged to just "don't be afraid".
As dog people, we know that fear in dogs has nothing at all to do with whether or not there is a real threat. It is perceived threat (which is sometimes also real) that matters. It doesn’t matter one bit if the centerpiece is harmless. What matters is that the dog perceives it as a threat and is therefore afraid.
With dogs, most of us also know that it’s best to go slowly, don’t push the dog, and try to create a positive emotional response to that which the dog is afraid of. It really isn’t any different when dealing with people.
If you have a guest who is afraid of your dog, it’s very important to respect their feelings and try to understand that their fear has nothing to do with the friendliness of your dog. Just as you would with a canine, it’s important to offer your human guest enough space to feel comfortable and safe. Depending on the person’s level of discomfort, this may mean that you’ll need to keep your dogs completely away from your guest, in another room or safely crated with plenty of fun things to do.
Some guests will be just fine if you have your dogs on leash for a while. You could allow the guest to offer your dog some treats for sitting, if they feel comfortable doing so. You could crate the dogs after the initial introduction then bring them back out for short, positive interactions throughout your guest’s stay.
If your guest says they are comfortable with the dogs being out and about, make sure that you keep an eye on things. Advocate for your guest by making sure the dogs maintain a comfortable distance and be sure that your human guest is not getting overwhelmed. A short crate break is a nice way to ease any tension.
The bottom line here is that the dog-anxious guests will let YOU know what you should do. Be sure to take your cues from them, and don’t be afraid to ask them how you could make them more comfortable. Also pay attention to their body language in contrast to what they are saying. Many will tell you everything is fine, even when they are feeling nervous.
Just as a dog will not overcome fears in one event, neither will your guest. Emotions are changed when we can provide a history of positive reinforcement in the presence of the scary thing. You can make an impact on this guest’s feelings about dogs by making their visit as positive as possible, but you won’t “fix” their fear of dogs, and you shouldn't try.
One special note: If you have children who are afraid of dogs in your home for the holidays, please put the dogs in another room! Excitement, food all over the place, strangers and dogs mixed with children who are uncomfortable around dogs can be a potential tragedy.
You have all year to spend time with your canine companions. For this one day, it’s very important to put your human guests’ needs first, which will also be in the best interest of your furry family member.
