Don't Replace Fido with Fido 2.0

I consult with people regularly that have recently lost a much loved, and nearly perfect canine companion. Grief is something that I've dealt with both in my own life and in my former career working in a family owned funeral home. Early stages of grief can leave a terrible void and sometimes we try to fill the void quickly. In the midst of grief, a new puppy of the same breed and generally the same sex as the dog they lost is adopted.

Most often, I see lovely retired couples that have grown older and lost an equally lovely, geriatric Golden or Lab. One member of the couple, or better yet, their grown children, adopts a Golden or Lab puppy and gives it as a surprise. It's about a week later that I'm consulted by the family to help them deal with Fido 2.0.

And what a surprise that this new puppy is nothing like their recently departed. "Fido was so calm and perfect in the way he did this and that and never, ever did that. Fido 2.0 doesn't seem to understand and bites and jumps up, etc."

There seems to be an expectation that there would be instant similarities and that the new puppy would somehow assume the role/persona, along with acquiring the memories of former Fido. Not much thought is given to Fido 2.0 being his own individual self and that he may never be anything like the former Fido. This usually meets with a measure of disappointment. No matter how much a puppy physically resembles another dog, he/she will be an individual that has his/her own needs, drives, and motivations.

I see many people using the same leashes, same collar, same toys, same beds, and yes, using the same name that belonged to their other dog. I encourage them to buy some new items to make Fido 2.0 feel special and to do some new activities to bond and create memories. Changing the name is usually the hardest topic to tackle.

If I am able to talk with people before they bring a new dog into their lives, I suggest taking time to grieve. It can be helpful to do something unique in memory of their beloved dog. When they are ready, I encourage them to look for personality first and foremost and think about how their lifestyle may have changed since they last adopted a dog. They may be older, have less time to spend exercising a young, active breed and may be more suited to a smaller or less active dog. Better yet, I open the idea of looking at local shelters for an adult dog that may be a perfect match. Providing this advice and support can be a great service to our clients.