CONNECTING WITH OUR DOGS
This is a vintage article, circa 1993 and one of the first things I had written that gained attention in the world of dog training. I would like to start my blog with this, as it is at the root of what I believe when we are dealing with our dogs. Keep in mind that 15 years ago we were all just on the cusp of discovering that “do it or else” training was not the only game in town. These thoughts were the beginning of a journey for me. While methods change, the core of the connection seems to remain the same.
CONNECTING WITH OUR DOGS
As I sat nursing what seemed to be my 100th cup of Cappuccino that day while overlooking the canals in Amsterdam, my mind was again consumed by the behaviors of the dogs that roamed these banks.
It was during this family vacation that I found myself intrigued by the differences between European and North American cultures in dog/human and dog/dog interaction. It was becoming clear that these contrasts held a clue to why we seem to experience more “dog problems” in our part of the world.
As a youth, I spent a great deal of time traveling and had been working with dogs for many years, but a trip to Africa in 1988 offered my first opportunity to observe and study these unique differences. The dogs in Africa never jumped up, never became “clingy”, rarely barked, and were extremely respected by their families.
Now, watching the dogs in Amsterdam, I was further intrigued and my theory solidified: in North America, we pay too much attention to our dogs. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t love and care for them, but part of the problem may be our over-use of touch.
This is, of course, a generalization, but as a dog trainer, I’m given the opportunity to work with up to 200 dogs and their owners on a weekly basis. And I can’t help but notice developing trends. To explain my reasoning, consider the social pack system that dogs seem to live by. This theory is under some scrutiny these days, but my experience tells me that a hierarchy system does exist between dogs and includes, of course, their human contingents.
Within this structure exists a “top dog”, a cool character who rarely pays attention to the other dogs. He’s not the loud, obnoxious “in-your-face” underling who works overtime in an attempt to ascend to the highest position. The real top dog is the reserved, quiet one. If you watch closely, you’ll notice how respectful the other dogs are of him and how rarely they approach him.
He is their undisputed king yet he doesn’t acknowledge them. As he moves, they follow. They clamor for his attention with heads bowed, tails wagging, perhaps licking at his muzzle. Despite all the attention, he keeps moving. Would a true leader stop to wait for his gang?
Rarely!
It was this pack behavior that I observed among the dogs on the canal banks. Amsterdam is congested with people and thousands of bicycles swooping through the streets. The city is constructed of cement, not exactly an environment conducive to the natural dog (or person), yet the Dutch seem to love dogs. And, indeed, there were dogs everywhere, on-leash and off. I never heard a dog bark, never saw a dog lunge on leash and I never witnessed an owner racing around calling their dog.
As my vacation continued, the running thread common to all these relationships appeared to be the owner’s expectation of their pet. Not once did I see anyone acknowledge his or her dog while out in public. The people stood in groups with their dogs and bicycles. They chatted, and when they dispersed, the dogs followed automatically. A couple strolled hand-in-hand with their off-leash dog following closely behind. They would stop, window shop, and then continue. Their dog would stop- sniff, pee and catch up.
As luck would have it, I was invited to dinner at the home of a Dutch couple that owned two dogs. These dogs had their own beds, ate from beautiful ceramic food bowls and were treated with great kindness, not unlike their North American counterparts. But they were not the center of our dinner party of conversation. They watched us quietly from their respective beds, not banished from the room. They didn’t demand attention, they didn’t jump, bark or even pace. It was the people’s time and the people had company. The dog’s time would come later. What a nice evening it was!
In our culture, we seem to make our dogs the center of our daily lives. I’m certainly not advising that you should stop loving, touching, hugging and talking to your dog. My own dogs are an enormous part of my life and I often spend 24 hours a day in their company. When I walk, they follow. When I stop, they stop. When I’m having a quiet time with my dogs, they’re the center of my attention. But the fact is I am having quiet time, it is not a constant habit.
The opposite of reward is not punishment, it’s no reward. As ‘top dog’, the ability to ignore your dog becomes a powerful tool. You can test this theory by ignoring your dog for a while, then asking him to “sit”. You won’t need a cookie – your attention will be motivation enough.
If you touch, caress and pat your dog continually for no reason in particular, what will you use for praise when he really deserves it? We humans are expected to behave appropriately within our own society, and it’s a given that we’ll comply. We aren’t rewarded for behaving in proper, decent ways. Were rewarded if we save a child from a burning building, but that’s above and beyond the realm of expected behavior.
Our dogs do not need to be constantly touched or talked to when they’re doing nothing more exceptional than simply being with us. Of course they need encouraging words, but not as perpetual chatter for no particular reason. In fact, I'm sure dogs feel much the same as we do – they’d appreciate a nice massage at the end of the day, rather than a series of pats on the head.
Attaining the position of pack leader is the result of many factors, but consider the behavior of the top dog in a setting that allows dogs to adhere to normal pack structure, such as the scenarios I witnessed outside of North Americas. The top dog, whether human or canine, uses subtle methods to get the point across. It never involves any force or abuse. A gentle nudge to get your dogs respect will help in working towards and maintaining a long and healthy relationship with your best friend.
