Big Dogs in Puppy Suits
I often use child-rearing analogies in my training. I don’t do this because I think dogs are kids in fur-suits. Not even close. I do it because learning theory applies to all organisms and humans tend to “get it” quicker if I can first relate it to their own, familiar species.
I’ve noticed that I also use what I’m going to call the anti-analogy. The one I use the most speaks to what I see as a really important difference between human behavioral development and that of our household canine. I think it’s a natural mistake that many humans make instinctively.
When we get a new pup, everyone is very excited, full of joy and full of love. We are naturally inclined, I believe, to protect this pup from danger, handle him carefully, monitor him closely and shower him with tenderness and attention. Much as we would a newborn baby.
Puppies DO need this love, bonding, protection and attention. However, very quickly, this pup must learn what will be expected of him as an adult dog.
With human children, we are careful to expose them to experiences that are age appropriate. We start with very few rules and responsibilities for the child. We have no expectations in the beginning as we are meeting their every need and hoping they will soon sleep through the night. Later, we move on to helping them learn to walk, talk and use the toilet. A few years later we are adding more skills, responsibilities and rules. We ask them to learn to read and write, to share with others, to clean their rooms and eventually to go out into the world and create a life for themselves.
Dog owners make a big mistake when they try to follow this same progression of responsibility with their new pups. It is unfair to the canine to allow freedom and then change the rules later, even though we do this exact thing with humans. Dogs do not understand, “You’re too old for that now.”
What dogs understand is what works and what doesn’t work. If jumping up on people to get attention works when a dog is 10 weeks old, the dog has no reason to think it’s the wrong thing to do when he is 6 months old. Of course we CAN do it this way. I just don’t know why we would make things so hard on ourselves and our dogs.
The easier way to do things when it comes to dogs is to try to imagine the pup as an adult. When your adorable Golden Retriever puppy is putting his paws on your shin to get your attention, think carefully about what this behavior will look like when the pup’s paws are being thrown on your midsection.
One of the most common examples of this that I see is the large-breed puppy that is being carried around instead of being taught to walk on a leash. Owners will tell me, “He’s still little enough to carry, we’ll teach him about the leash later.”
The reality is that learning these things is much easier when the pup is small, manageable and still paying very close attention to us. By waiting until we believe the behavior is age-appropriate, we are creating a situation that is frustrating to both us and our dog.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t shower love and attention on your new puppy! I would never suggest such a thing! What it means is that right from the beginning you can teach your puppy that the best way to get attention and petting is to sit, or to at least have all four paws on the floor. You can hold and carry your pup sometimes, but this is also the easiest time to get your pup used to walking nicely on a leash.
The only behavior that does follow the path of gradually changing the rules is teaching bite inhibition. In the beginning your puppy should be allowed to bite you often and be given appropriate feedback when the bites are too hard. As the pup gets older, you should respond to softer and softer bites, eventually responding to any mouthing when the pup becomes an adolescent around the age of four months.
Other than that, you will sail more smoothly through puppyhood and adolescence if you consider what the rules will be for your adult dog and start communicating those rules from the very beginning. Ask yourself often, "What will this same behavior look like when this dog is grown?" Instead of believing that puppies are children in fur suits, I see them as big dogs in puppy suits.
