Losing It Is Not Impressive (nor effective in the long term)

Yesterday I was at the studio where I workout, focusing on my breathing in a relatively quite environment, when suddenly the peace and my concentration were shattered by deep bellowing screams coming from the street down below.  It was the voice of a woman, an ANGRY woman.

At first I thought it was the beginning of a fight, but soon I realized that I only heard one voice carrying on (and on, and on). I tried to ignore her, but she was loud and the things she was saying were terrible and ugly. Then I heard her demanding someone (or something) to “GET OVER HERE NOW!”  

The chaos continued for several minutes. Eventually it dawned on me. She was talking to a child. Presumably her own. Finally I looked outside because if there is one thing I cannot tolerate (there are actually many, ask my family and friends) it is the abuse of children and animals.

Sure enough the woman was standing in the street with her car door open and she was screaming and chasing a young teenage girl around the car. The poor girl wasn’t running, just making sure to keep the car safely between her and her attacker. Tears were streaming down her face and she didn’t say anything back, at least nothing audible. She looked very afraid and sad. I didn’t blame her for not wanting to get in the car. What rational person would voluntarily get into the car with a raving lunatic, even it is was one’s mother or caregiver?

I don’t know what made that woman angry, but I do know that the young woman was not antagonizing her. I do know that “shouting woman’s” strategy was not working for her, because she wasn’t getting what she wanted – the young girl in the car.

I could also tell that the young girl was conflicted, she had a bond to this person yelling at her. Maybe she didn’t get in the car but she didn’t run away either. She didn’t yell back or punch the shouter. She appeared to be trying to figure out how to both appease this person of power in her life while also managing to keep herself safe.

Eventually she got in the car and they drove off together and I have no idea what happened, but I’d put big money on the outcome of that interaction damaging their relationship. Sure the shouting woman eventually got what she wanted, the girl in the car, her bullying and berating “worked” to that end. But beyond getting the girl in the car what was the woman really trying to accomplish? Respect? Authority? Control? Did the spectacle accomplish any of those things? What will the long-term side effects of that terribly unpleasant interaction do to their relationship and future interactions?

The amount of damage done depends largely on their previous interactions, the strength of the foundation of their relationship, past good interactions and trust, and just what the shouter did to the girl once she had her in the car.

So, what’s this got to do with dogs? You tell me. Does any of this sound familiar or strike a chord for you?