“But She Knows What She’s Supposed To Do….!”
“No, you don’t understand. I have done *everything*, my dog knows what she is supposed to do but she’s mad at me so she’s going to the bathroom in the house. I take her outside for half an hour and she just stands there and as soon as we come back in the house, she goes on the carpet! And she *knows* she’s bad, because she runs away from me when there’s urine on the floor!” The woman on the other end of the phone had tears of frustration echoing in her voice. No one wants their house to smell constantly of urine. No one wants a dog who deliberately goes to the bathroom in the house just to spite them!
But can this ever truly be the case? Are dogs set up to make a conscious effort to maliciously spite their owners? And if a dog actually knows what they are “supposed” to do, and knows when they are “bad”, then why on earth would they continue to do the “wrong” thing? Can dogs actually be that dense? Do they crave being yelled at and punished, and the displeasure of their owners?
I’ve gone on several “emergency” housetraining calls over the years, where the client refuses to take any advice over the phone but insists that we come out to explain in person what they must do to help their dog understand this issue. They are that frustrated and on the edge of “getting rid” of their dog.
Not to mention the fact that they are even more confused by the confident explanation of pet store clerks to just “crate train” their dog. Or the advice of some old-timers: “Just rub their face in it, swat them and throw them outside”. They ask, “But what does putting them in the crate accomplish?” – or – “I rub his face in it when I find the mess, but he keeps on going inside!”
Why is this issue so hard for otherwise loving owners to understand?
I’m not going to explain an entire housetraining protocol here, because the important thing to know before setting up the nuts and bolts of consistency, management, games involving running outside, and appropriate rewards is this:
Housetraining is a concept, not a command.
Dogs are a much simpler creature than the owner may think, and are not capable of complex spiteful behavior. A dog who has learned that it’s okay to go in the house (because most of the time that is what they successfully do, no one sees them; no one punishes them) does *not* “know what they are supposed to do”. They may “know” that when the owner appears and there is urine on the floor that they better run away because this always means bad things – but not because they were aware of that an hour before when they were in the act of urinating on the floor: two entirely separate instances.
a) We must help a dog create desired habits
b) We must work to help a dog internalize their own urgent need to eliminate in an appropriate area rather than randomly reinforcing it, punishing it, or doing it for the dog instead of letting them learn to “want* to go there on their own.
c) I often ask an owner, “What if I told you that from now on you had to go to the bathroom out on your front lawn instead of in your bathroom in the house? How would you feel about that?” This often rings a bell…..
Despite the challenges of complex behavioral issues such as separation anxiety, aggression, etc, there is hardly anything more rewarding than the wonder and actual joy in an owner’s voice when they report that their housetraining issues are solved, and their dog is now doing the “right” thing. And the understanding that comes along with that revelation often results in a better relationship all the way around, ensuring a lasting home for that particular dog.
