Take the Lead
We trainers have an unusual job. While on the surface it may look fairly simple and tons of fun, there are many components to our profession that often get overlooked. Yes, it is tons of fun and while teaching dogs to sit, lie down or come when called is relatively simple for trainers to get done, it is the emotional component, the underlying relationship between our clients and their dogs that can prove more complex.
The calls come into the offices of trainers all across the county and many have an underlying thread. Dog owners everywhere seem to have a difficult time gaining and keeping their dogs respect. That’s the way most trainers see it. The clients may view the scene somewhat differently. It is reported to us differently, as dogs that run away, dogs that growl over their food bowls, dogs that chew the furniture and who’s endless barking may get their families evicted.
Many of the difficulties facing dog owners are corrected by implementing some basic guidelines and showing clarity and consistency to their 4-footed companion. So why is it that when faced with these solutions many dog owners simply fall apart?
I believe that most of them see their dogs as the provider of unconditional love and in that respect, they feel compelled to give that back to the dog. Unconditional love may come in the form of simply giving in to their dogs every whim and desire. What many dog owners then end up with is a dog who jumps on everyone who enters the home, who barks incessantly for attention or who cant be moved off the couch. While their families see their doting as love, in actual fact the dog may view it in a whole different light.
Given the choice, I think that most dogs would prefer to have boundaries set and some consistency present. Most of these dogs would love to learn something, anything. To be able to use their brain and become involved in activities such as sports or tricks is probably high up on their wish list.
Providing a consistent leadership role for your dog is one of the best gifts you can provide for him. There seems to be a few different categories that dogs fall into. One is the dog who wants the job of leader and who is inadvertently given the job by his family. This dog is the one who rules the roost. He sits in “his” armchair and if moved will let out a little growl. At this point the family will designate his area as off limits to family and guests. They will make up excuses for his behavior such as “that is Buffy’s spot and she will growl if you wake her, so it is best to leave her sleeping”. This family will more than likely live in harmony with this dog for the rest of her life. In all likelihood there will be no problems because there will be no confrontation. This is not the way most of us choose to live with our dogs.
Another scenario is the dog who would like the job of ruler of the roost, but who’s family is well aware of the consequences of such behavior. This is like my terrier, Levi. Sure, she would love the role of leader, and is quite capable of the job. She has tested me for the past 13 years and has yet to win ☺ As most assertive dogs tend to gravitate to the highest ground. This means that these dogs should be asked to keep 4 paws on the ground unless invited to come up onto the couch or your lap. Levi will often sit on my open staircase and is at eye level as I pass by her. As I tell her to get down from her perch, she will bring a smile to my face everytime because she can’t seem to win the game. We have a fabulous relationship but she sure does keep me on my toes.
Then we come to a category of dogs that seem to becoming more common. These are the dogs that do not want the job of leader. and quite frankly aren’t up for the job. Once they assess their families and find that no one else has stepped up to the plate, they slowly discover it will be up to them to guide their family. These often dogs lack self-confidence and very clear direction is helpful to them. These are the dogs that may lunge out at other dogs while on a walk. While they may not be aggressive, it may appear otherwise to the unsuspecting public. It is human reaction to then lash out and punish the dog for this display of behavior and of course, this only leads to more insecurities.
In my experience, these dogs make up a fair percentage of family pets. The client may call with an initial problem of a dog lunging towards other dogs, but upon visiting the home the primary underlying problem is most often lack of rules and boundaries in the home. These dogs see no leadership happening. They begin to feel comfortable in the home and there are often no problems indoors, but once they hit the great outdoors they discover that they are alone. The job of leader has been left to them. It must be quite a difficult discovery to feel that you are on your own, in charge, and don’t have the skills to do the job.
Instilling rules and boundaries is a great way to show your dog that you are consistent. Have a family meeting and decide what rules you will adopt, post them to the refrigerator door and then commit to sticking to them. Rules such as your dog having his own bed rather than your furniture, staying away from the table while the family is eating and not barging out of the door are just a few that may pertain to your family. Each family will be different.
Giving out everything for free is not the best answer. Make sure your dog does something before dishing out treats, toys and praise. Even a sit / stay will suffice in the beginning. The dogs who have trouble later on are often those who live with families that give out lavish amounts of attention simply because their dog is cute. Don’t get me wrong, we all think our dogs are fabulous, but lets try to keep that out little secret!
Remember, it is best to do what is right for your dog, rather than what feels good to you. This will help keep a balance and a communication that will lead to a respectful relationship.
